


Who Can You Trust

by orphan_account



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Co-workers, F/M, M/M, Multiple Pairings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Some Humor, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-23 20:07:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11409300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The over-worked, desk-bound CIA analyst, Arthur Kirkland, and the stunningly handsome super spy, Alfred F Jones. Together, they make the perfect team.But in a world of deadly arms dealers and potential global disaster, who can you really trust?





	Who Can You Trust

**Author's Note:**

> This is entirely based of the 2015 movie, 'SPY'; it will follow the overarching plot pretty closely. Anyway, please enjoy!

It took Special Agent Alfred Jones half a second to decide a plan and exactly how he was going to execute it. Half a second could produce enough memorised evidence to put a good man in jail, if he saw fit. But he was not here to put an innocent bystander behind bars; no, he was here to locate Roma Vargas and the dangerously compact nuke he had come into possession of.

A fancy gathering of the upper class provided the perfect opportunity to infiltrate enemy territory. The airy lobby was crowded enough that Jones could make his way through the crowd, unworried. Men in tuxedos and women in evening gowns passed by, a blur of expensive material and pretentious attitudes. The young woman to his left nudged his arm and handed him a glass of champagne, mentioning that she’d like to enjoy it and discuss their situations outside. Jones shot her a trademark smile and nodded noncommittally, already glancing around to find the face he was looking for. 

 _Ah,_ he thought as he noticed a man standing off to one side of the gaudy crowd. _Got you._

At a first glance, nothing looked out of the ordinary; he fitted right in with the wealthy guests. However, upon closer inspection, it became clear that he differed from them dramatically. His tuxedo was shiny along the shoulders from excessive use, and his nose was curved down into a sharp lump. If he was truly amongst those gathered here today, he could have easily bought a new suit or enlisted a plastic surgeon. Jones waited until the man was facing away from him, then dropped his champagne glass.

The loud shattering caused guests on all sides to jump away, shrieks and yelps of surprise filling the air. He felt a twinge of guilt and the urge to apologise, but instead turned his attention to the man on the edge of the group. He had jumped at the smashing, and quickly started for the door. Jones followed him through the door as he slipped down a narrow staircase and turned into a dimly lit doorway. Ducking after him, Jones inched his way down the corridor. As he crept around a corner, he slipped a hand into his suit jacket, removing a sleek black handgun.

He caught a glimpse of the man rounding a corner and turning into a doorway to the left. The man’s pace was gradually getting faster and more frantic. Jones felt compelled to follow him as swiftly as possible; that is, until he saw the doorway twenty metres away from him. It was a glossy black colour, adorned with a gilded title. Not all letters could be made out but Jones could read it - the door said, clear as day, _Vargas_.

Jones hurried to the door, a silent check proving his suspicions that the door was unlocked correct. He drew back, a quick kick sending the door swinging open, no bolts to hold it in place. If the inhabitant of this office was actually worried about security they wouldn’t leave themselves so vulnerable. Someone was expecting him.

Cautiously, he stepped into the room, raising the gun and disabling the safety in one smooth movement. His eyes focused on the man leaning on the desk casually in front of him. He was in his mid-forties, sideburns of his dark hair greying a little. Despite this, he had kept his Italian good looks. One could see the connections between his appearance and his serial success with female business partners. 

“Agent Jones. I have been expecting you.” Roma Vargas smiled, seemingly indifferent to the gun trained on him.

“Yes, I know.” Jones stepped forwards, expensive shoes clicking on the polished floor. “Based on that, I suppose I can assume you also know why I’m here.”

Roma nodded thoughtfully, still leaning on the desk, relaxed. “Yes, I think I do. It has something to do with the nuke I’ve come into possession of, does it not? I’m sure you’re team has spent hours researching it. In that time I suppose they found out that I’m the only one who has a key to it.” Roma dangled a copper-coloured key in front of him.

Jones pushed down a rush of surprise. He hadn’t known that. “Oh yeah?” he tried to sound confident. “What’s to stop me from killing you and just taking the key?”

Roma smiled, as if he’d known Jones would say that. “I know you won’t. You see, Agent Jones, when I hid the bomb, I had all witnesses erased. And then _I_ erased the erasers. So, the only one who knows the whereabouts of that worryingly compact, transportable nuke is me. So you won’t kill me, because you can’t.”

“Well, I think that I could-”

Alfred was cut off with a violent sneeze that nearly knocked him over, clenching all of his muscles. His damn stupid allergies... When he looked up Roma was slumped over the desk. It took a second for it to click.

“Oh _fuck_ ,” Alfred swore, noting the red blooming from Vargas’ chest. Had he… Had he pulled the trigger? “Shit. _Fuck_. 

“Alfred!” Arthur yelped across a headset, focusing on the multiple computer screens in front of him. He’d been giving information and watching the entire mission transpire from a series of hacked security cameras and Alfred’s hidden earpiece, microphone and tracking chip.

“Ugh, sorry! My allergies… I couldn’t find any medicine this morning.” Alfred protested weakly.

Arthur sighed. “I put more in the pockets of all of your suit jackets.” He watched the screen as he saw Alfred reach into his jacket and pull out a small packet of pills. 

“Oh, right... Sorry. What are we going to do with the nuke?” Alfred said.

“Worry about that later.” Arthur said, looking at the feed from a security camera in the hall. “You’ve got more coming in. They probably heard the gunshot. Try not to fire the gun again unless you have to, it’ll just draw more bodyguards to you.”

“Right.” Alfred said, setting his jaw, instantly serious. He flattened himself against the wall besides the door slowly counting down from five. Arthur watched the reinforcements creep closer and closer, trying not to worry.

“Now!” Arthur shouted at the same time Alfred swung an expertly-aimed punch through the door frame, directly into a startled man’s face. The man fell backwards, falling onto his partner and getting in their way. The partner only had enough time to shove the other man off them before Alfred delivered a swift hit to the back of the neck, knocking them unconscious.

“Okay, okay,” Arthur checked the monitors, zooming in on the corridor before switching to the adjoining hallway. Something caught his eye and he adjusted the saturation, then the quality. At the very end of the hallway there was a flash of light reflecting off something. Arthur zoomed in and found his theory confirmed; it was the barrel of a gun peeking round the corner. “There are more down the adjoining hallway to your right as you head into the corridor.”

“So,” Alfred whispered into his microphone. “Take them out and then head back to the main lobby?”

“Exactly,” Arthur said distractedly, eyes drawn to the footage of the gun barrel. It was moving forward. “Okay, they’re advancing. You need to get to them before they get to you.”

“Got it.” Alfred affirmed, stepping into the corridor and tiptoeing towards the adjoining hallway. Arthur watched the glint of light travel forward before stopping just before the end of the corridor.

“He’s right there.” Arthur said as quietly as he could. Alfred nodded as he watched the tip of the gun edge forward into his peripheral vision. “Disarm him. There are-” Arthur squinted at the screen “-two men behind him. This needs to be quick.”

Alfred waited until the wrist of the gun-holder began to show then grabbed it, slamming the man’s hand into the wall beside him. The man’s back-up both drew their guns but by then it was already too late.

Alfred rounded on them, hitting one in the temple with the butt of his gun. The other drew his weapon, fumbling with the safety. Alfred hit him hard in the side of the neck with a right-handed hook, sending him crumpling to the ground.

The first man was beginning to get his bearings again and reached to retrieve his gun, twisting on the ground and pointing it at Alfred. He was not inexperienced like his companion, clicking off the safety and pulling the trigger in one smooth motion. Arthur’s heart jumped into his throat as he heard the bang before he even saw movement on the computer screens.Alfred would have been dead - _should_ have been dead - if it weren’t for the quickest drop Arthur had ever seen.

Alfred hit the floor so fast the shooter didn’t even process that the bullet hadn’t hit, until Alfred wrenched the gun out of his limp fingers.

Arthur breathed out, hearing a shaky laugh over his headset. “They would’ve heard that, right?” Alfred asked, getting to his feet and kicking the disarmed man in the head when he made a motion towards the gun.  

“Unfortunately.” Arthur switched camera, checking the site map on his other screen. The sound of pounding feet made both him and Alfred look up. Arthur went white and Alfred bolted, running down the corridor away from the bodies he’d left lying on the ground.

The sheer volume of them indicated their numbers, the odds of Alfred against them making Arthur choke. Alfred threw himself up the stairs, taking them two-at-a-time. Arthur stayed quiet, knowing Alfred needed to concentrate right now. Alfred ran into the main party area, swerving around guests, shoving those who wouldn’t get out of the way aside. He vaguely registered the sound of more glass smashing through his adrenaline-fueled haze, realising he’d knocked over one of the delicate ice sculptures. Good. It might slow the guards behind him down 

Alfred reached the porch, leaping over the railing and clearing the steps in less than five seconds. As soon as his feet touched the grass he was off, sprinting across the vast green lawn at the front of the house.

Another familiar noise through the sound system sent Arthur to the cameras facing the front of the house. He gasped at the sight of machine guns being loaded by men on the roof. “What? What is it?” Alfred panted, hearing Arthur’s intake of breath. He got his answer when the sound of quick-firing bullets filled the air, dust spraying up at his heels.

“Go to the dock!” Arthur yelled, praying the gunmen that kept missing by an inch didn’t get lucky. Alfred raced down the length of the dock, diving into a speedboat moored to it. 

“There are no keys, Arthur!” Alfred groaned, frustrated.

“Then hot-wire it!” Arthur said, trying not to scream as the men began to run across the lawn after them, shooting again and again.

Alfred reached across, but stopped as soon as bullets started bouncing off the interior of the boat. “Can’t reach them. What do I do, Arthur? 

Arthur made a snap-second decision. “Stay down and hold your ears.” he instructed, reaching for the phone next to him. 

“But then how will I hear your beautiful voice?” Alfred teased, doing his best to ignore the men that were approaching. 

“Stop being adorable and get down.” Arthur groaned, dialling and talking as soon as the phone connected. “Lock on co-ordinates four-three-point-one-six-five-four-seven. Fire. Now!”

A deafening explosion rocked the boat as a bomb exploded at the start of the dock, Alfred suddenly glad he was hunched into a small corner of it. The men on the lawn had been far closer to the explosion and were sent flying backwards, dropping their guns in favour of saving themselves.

Arthur looked back to the water, seeing Alfred no longer crouched on the floor, now speeding across the water.

“Close one!” he said, victory and excess adrenaline a heady cocktail that was making him loud and buoyant. Arthur heaved an exhausted sigh of relief. “Nice drone work, Arthur! I could kiss you.”

Arthur was very, very glad Alfred couldn’t see his scarlet cheeks. “We-Well, I would accept that with an o-open mouth.” Arthur cringed as soon as the words left his mouth. Why did he say that? Luckily Alfred was too excitable to care, just laughing at the awkward response. 

“We need to celebrate! How’s dinner tonight at Moreau’s? My treat.” Alfred offered, the joy in his voice warming Arthur to the core.

“That sounds wonderful,” he replied, then immediately regretted it. Was wonderful too forward? “I mean, it sounds good. That is to say, fun. Yeah, cool.” _God_ , he hated himself.

“Right, I’ll meet you there at eight.” Alfred grinned. “See you then, Arthur.”

⦁⦁⦁⦁⦁⦁⦁⦁⦁

Moreau’s was one of the fanciest restaurants in the entire city, and a personal favourite to many agents, Alfred included. Arthur however, was not so inclined to that opinion. Customers at Moreau’s usually carried a fat wallet and didn’t blink twice when they received their receipts of five-digit amounts. They believed the world owed them happiness and they could buy anything with money, special attention from the staff included. 

It greatly annoyed Arthur to see sleazy businessmen harassing the waitresses. But in some ways, the blissful, doe-eyed couples were worse. Self-consciousness burned in his head as he took in the sight of them. Alfred and him, in this cosy, romantic environment…

Arthur derailed that train of thought before it could get any more inappropriate. Still, he couldn’t be entirely blamed for his fantasies. It was pretty much expected; Alfred was a gorgeous, bisexual super spy. How could anyone resist? 

Arthur shifted awkwardly in the waiting section, counting down the seconds as they ticked by. He felt a little out of place in his pressed trousers and sweater vest, everyone else in slick suits or cocktail dresses. He dawdled for another five minutes, before walking out front to see if Alfred was waiting out there. He was confronted with the image of Alfred leaning into the wall next to an elegant dark-haired woman. Their postures were relaxed, bodies mirroring each other, leaning in. The woman brought a hand up to his chest, stepping closer. He coughed deliberately, bringing Alfred’s attention to him.

“Arthur!” he greeted, pushing himself off of the wall. Alfred felt a twinge of self-satisfaction at the fact that Alfred was prioritising him, coupled with a buzzing in his chest at how attractive Alfred looked in his form-fitting, all black suit. “Sorry to keep you waiting, I was just talking with Victoria. She’s an agent as well.”

Arthur was just processing her name and thinking he vaguely recognised it when she turned around. Her appearance made him double-take. She was likely one of the most beautiful women he’d ever seen, with her sun-kissed skin, flowing dark hair and sparkling brown eyes. Arthur felt an innate urge to trust her friendly smile.

“Hi,” he said shortly, a little unsure. Something passed across Victoria’s face, but it was gone in a flash of pearly-white teeth.

“Hey! Arthur, right? Alfred was just talking about you. You guys completed a pretty big mission today, didn’t you? Congratulations!” Arthur smiled a little at her genuine enthusiasm.

“Yeah, it went totally perfect!” Alfred jumped in, smirking smugly. Victoria chuckled, patting Alfred’s shoulder, all traces of flirting gone. They looked like nothing more than old friends, and Arthur probably would’ve been fooled if it weren’t for the tension in the air.

“Right, I should be off then.” Victoria said, checking her watch “See you guys, have a good time!”

They watched her retreating figure together in silence, before Alfred swung an arm around Arthur’s shoulders, guiding him back into the restaurant. The staff recognised him and ushered him over to their table, Arthur following behind. They were seated and Alfred began ordering in fluent french. He glanced at Arthur after placing his order, who motioned awkwardly for Alfred to order for him.

Another water approached their table, placing a silver dish in the centre of the table. On it were two small white circles. The waiter then produced a jug of warm water and poured it on the circles, causing them to expand and rise. Arthur watched the display with wonderment, quickly taking one as the waiter departed. He bit the edge of it, but found it would not be torn. He tugged harder at it, eventually putting the whole thing in his mouth. 

Alfred gave him an astonished look. “Arthur… You’re eating a hand towel.” He demonstrated the proper use. 

Arthur flushed and spat it out quickly, the other waiter giving him an amused look. “Uh, I was just, um, cleansing my palette.” He laughed awkwardly. The waiter nodded and left having gotten their orders, still smiling. “Obviously this is a bit too much for me.” he said to Alfred, who chuckled.

“Sorry, Burger King was booked up,” he joked good-naturedly. Arthur laughed loudly, then realised a second later that his volume had been well above pleasant dinner conversation. A couple at the table next to them turned to glare at him. Arthur turned back to Alfred after apologising to them. His heart sped up at the soft look in Alfred’s eyes.

“To another successful mission.” Alfred raised his glass, prompting Arthur to do the same.

“Go team.” Arthur said as their glasses clinked together. Alfred nodded enthusiastically, setting his glass down.

“Listen, I’ve been thinking recently, I couldn’t do what I do without you. And I’ve been thinking about doing something special for you…” Arthur’s breath caught in anticipation as Alfred reached into his suit jacket and placed a velvety black box on the table in front of him.

“Good God, Alfred, are you sure?” Arthur asked uncertainly, even as he reached across the table to pick up the box.

Alfred gestured for Arthur to open it and he did eagerly. The smile dropped off his face when he opened it. “Um…” In the box sat a plastic chain with a cheap-looking American flag charm attached to it. “That’s… Thank you?”

“It’s to show you’re truly a member of America. No more tea and crumpets and shitty cooking, eh? Screw England, you’re a citizen of the great U.S. of A now! And only an American could complete the amazing work we do together.” Alfred chuckled, obviously very proud of his gift. Arthur, as bewildered as he was, decided to at least fake gratitude. 

“How did you know I don’t care for traditional gifts?” Arthur said, staring at the flag. The paint was already fading around the edges under his touch - it looked like Alfred had got it from a supermarket.

“Yeah, imagine how awkward it would’ve been if it had been an expensive watch or, like, a diamond ring, or something!”

“Oh yeah, not a _diamond ring_!” Arthur agreed hastily, trying not to let his mind wander to a marriage with Alfred. “I don’t want to marry you! I don’t want your muscly arms and hands giving me massages for the rest of my life. Ugh! Yeah, it would be so weird, our three kids coming in, Peter, Tommy and Becca, and they’d just all have that beautiful jaw and sky-blue eyes and a full mouth. I mean… No thank you!” Arthur felt his ears burning with embarrassment as he realised what he was saying. “Glad you gave me some jewellery I can actually wear!”

Alfred frowned when Arthur closed the box, setting it aside. “Wait, you’re not going to wear it now?” Arthur hesitated with the box. “Come on, put it on!”

“Oh wow, look at that,” Arthur lifted it out of the box, unclipping it.

“That is an adjustable toggle clip.” Alfred beamed as Arthur clipped it around his neck. “It suits you!”

“Oh, thank you.” Arthur tried not to get the insignificant - and a little humiliating, given the circumstances - compliment get to him.

“Seriously though, I could never do what I do without you in my earpiece.”

“Well, I could never do what _you_ do. Can you imagine me as a spy?”

“Oh my god!” Alfred cracked up. “Out in the field, with a gun! You! Defeating all the terrorists and saving us all.” He wiped a tear from his eye, shoulders still shaking with laughter. 

“Yeah, I can’t even dress like a spy.” Arthur pointed at Alfred’s clothing. “I mean look at you. Everything’s tailored and cut right. Then mine is like some lumpy knitted wash cloth.”

“Aw, come one, it’s not that bad,” Alfred interrupted in an attempt to halt Arthur’s ranting, but to no avail.

“I don’t even think it has a label, my aunt probably made it. I should just get on my knees and start scrubbing-”

“No, no, enough, stop.” Alfred reached across the table and took Arthur’s hand. “Jesus, Arthur. Go easy on yourself.”

“Okay.” Arthur let out a ragged breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. Alfred let go and sat back in his chair.

“We’re a perfect team. That’s why we work, you and I.” 

Alfred motioned for Arthur to move closer, which he did with no reservations. Alfred cocked his head to the side as he studied Arthur, gazing into his eyes. Arthur felt his pulse begin to race. Was Alfred going to- “You’ve got a scratch right there.” Alfred pointed at Arthur’s cheek. Arthur felt his lungs deflate. “Is it from the cats? 

“I don’t- I don’t own cats.” Arthur covered his cheek, shrinking away from Alfred. 

Alfred raised his eyebrows. “Really? Maybe you should get some. They’re good company.” 

Arthur bobbed his head in quiet acknowledgement, resisting the urge to scream in irritation. It was his own fault for thinking Alfred could ever see him as anything more than an occasionally helpful voice in his ear. He needed to lower his expectations; as if a stunning, intelligent, charming man like Alfred would ever go for someone like him, no matter how much time they spent together.

Arthur was kidding himself. But he couldn’t quite let go of the fantasy that maybe one day Alfred would suddenly see him as more than just an assistant. Until then, Arthur was stuck pining after him like an idiot.

**Author's Note:**

> Additional pairings and tags will be added, but not now because of spoilers!  
> Comments and kudos make me happy! And will probably increase the update speed,,, ヾ(´▽｀;)ゝ


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